Dating dilema

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My(M28) girlfriend(F23) of two months is pregnant. Do we keep it?

2020.09.22 08:45 ThrowRAbecomeDad My(M28) girlfriend(F23) of two months is pregnant. Do we keep it?

So I found out my(M28) girlfriend(F23) is pregnant. It happened as it usually happens when you don't plan it - we just weren't careful enough. We started dating three months ago but out of those three months I was gone for 1 month (traveling with friends). So even thou I like her our relationship is pretty new. And now this. I'm not sure I ever wanted to become parent let alone right now with someone I met so recently. How do I know whether I want a kid if I never had one? How can I make one decision and change our lives forever?
GF said that she would have the kid if I want it but does not want to raise it alone or with someone who does not want kids. We live in central Europe and abortion in early stages is legal here (up to 8 weeks of pregnancy), it can be done without surgery by taking medication with almost no physical health risk. What remains of course is the moral dilema and potential effect on mental health.
More details: we don't live together and both are renting apartments not suitable for living as family, I have finished studying and I'm now working with average salary, she is also working but has low income, neither of us has a car, we don't know each other's families but they mostly live in the same city or less than hour by car away, I'm pretty sure the potential kid is mine and I'm sure neither of us wanted the pregnancy
What do I do? What should I base my decision on?
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2020.09.12 18:17 alralr9898 Should i tell her?

So I have a dilema in my life rn. I've known a girl for more than 6/7 years, we have always been friends but since the beggining of the year we have been becoming closer friends, we talk a lot, we share things about us we never shared with anyone else, we are pretty much best friends. For the past like 3 months i started getting feelings for her, she's exactly the type of girl i want, personallity speaking, she's gorgeous, really smart, i really like her.

My problem is i'm almost 100% sure she only likes me as a friend, we don't really flirt and she never gave me any type of hints she likes me, at least that i noticed, i also never told her i liked her in this way. She got out of a 2 yr relationship at the end of last year and since then she never talked to other guys in a dating way, until now, a guy she made out 3 yrs ago started talking to her again, she told it to me, said that probably it would lead to nothing because before this guy was very immature and that's the reason she stopped talking with him but still she is gonna keep talking with him to see where it goes. As you can imagine, for me, it's hard hearing something like that.

What kind of advice you boys and girls can give me?? What you think i should do in my situation?? I don't want to lose my friendship with her but it's really hard standing where i am at.
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2020.09.12 17:54 alralr9898 I like my best friend but

So I have a dilema in my life rn. I've known a girl for more than 6/7 years, we have always been friends but since the beggining of the year we have been becoming closer friends, we talk a lot, we share things about us we never shared with anyone else, we are pretty much best friends. For the past like 3 months i started getting feelings for her, she's exactly the type of girl i want, personallity speaking, she's gorgeous, really smart, i really like her.
My problem is i'm almost 100% sure she only likes me as a friend, we don't really flirt and she never gave me any type of hints she likes me, at least that i noticed, i also never told her i liked her in this way. She got out of a 2 yr relationship at the end of last year and since then she never talked to other guys in a dating way, until now, a guy she made out 3 yrs ago started talking to her again, she told it to me, said that probably it would lead to nothing because before this guy was very immature and that's the reason she stopped talking with him but still she is gonna keep talking with him to see where it goes. As you can imagine, for me, it's hard hearing something like that.
What kind of advice you boys and girls can give me?? What you think i should do in my situation?? I don't want to lose my friendship with her but it's really hard standing where i am at.
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2020.09.11 06:17 knottycirl I (female) can’t climate unless I do it myself.

As mentioned in the title. I can’t finish unless I “do it” myself. It feels extremely awkward to rub myself during sex. I once dated someone who was pretty of offended by it so now I feel like other men will feel that way too. Ive tried to instruct partners on how to touch me but it never feels right..Really not trying to invite a perverted convo here but any other women who have this dilema? Or guys? Would you be offended if a women did this during sex all the time? Like she’s not just doing it to be sexy ..she full on masturbating while you’re having sex..god that was embarrassing just typing it 🤦‍♀️
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2020.09.11 04:54 dfdaddy81 Belly fat...

So I've been on Keto since mid March. I've been really happy with my results so far. I've lost 44lbs to date. The first 30lbs lost came with the elated feeling of a much flatter stomach. I do try to keep a regular work out routine, 4-5 days a week, 500+ calories burned each workout. Here's my dilema, I have hit a stubborn plateau at 183lbs that I can't break and lately I have been noticing that my belly fat is coming back. My muffing top was almost gone, I felt great fitting into clothes previously tight fitting, specially pants. It now seems like it's overflowing over my waist again, what could I possibly be doing wrong?? I have started increasing my protein intake because of strength training to bulk up a bit. I do IF every other day with one long 36hr fast every week. My wife says it could be my refeeding that's causing the sudden spike in belly fat. Could it? Any help is appreciated, thank you!
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2020.09.10 14:42 XoxoGossipGirl1221 Netflix and Chill?

HELP I’m struggling!! As someone who is still in their early to mid 20s living in this hookup culture era, dating has been pretty difficult for me. I really click with this one guy and we expressed our feelings for each other and talked about eventually getting in a relationship. We’ve been talking for 3 months and we’ve only met up once (grabbed some food and talked in the car) because he lives in another state. We’re planning on meeting again but he asked me to go over his place to watch one of my favorite shows on Netflix.
So my question is, since “Netflix and Chill” has become a phrase to define a hookup, I’m not sure how to make it clear that I’m not going over there to just hook up. I kind of found it a little offensive that the second time we’re meeting he asked me to go to his place to watch some Netflix instead of us going out somewhere. I want to let him know in the nicest, least awkward way possible that he shouldn’t expect me to hookup with him when I see him.
Please give me suggestions or anything else I can say cause I’m for real in a dilema 😭😭
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2020.09.09 03:44 weechers I just want to go back to just enjoying a comeback.

Hello, I’m a long time lurker, SHINee fan, and Taemin stan. I’m not much of a kpop fan in general as I don’t really listen to pop music, however, SHINee has always been my one true weakness since I’ve discovered them back in 2010.
I am a closet fan. I don’t even tag myself as a Shawol. I have very few social media accounts none of which include the heavy hitters (Twitter, Instagram, Tik-tok, etc). I don’t converse with other fans. I lurk here and a few other places that help keep me up to date with comebacks of SHINee and its members, but that’s it. I buy albums digitally when they are released and enjoy watching whatever related YouTube videos I find.
I have always known that behind the scenes, what makes a comeback “successful” comes from fans promoting the content on social media, streaming, voting, and buying albums. To be honest, I have never had an interest in that stuff. It is not a concept that I am familiar with since I don’t frequent kpop.
On to my problem. My dilema arose from seeing Instagram stories posted here where Taemin says he is sad, that he injured himself, worried about his comeback etc leading up to his new release. Seeing how hard he worked for this comeback (on top of what he’s done for SuperM) made me want to see him succeed even more.
I pre-ordered NGDA physically which is the first physical album of any genre I’ve bought it over 10-years. I bought NGDA digitally on top of that. I don’t know how many times I have watched the music video in efforts to stream it. I’ve made efforts to figure out how to stream on Korean streaming websites. I have been on Twitter more in the last two days than I have in my entire life trying to follow updates and see what else I can do. I leave the MV and album streaming on my pc whenever I get the chance.
I know there are Shawols that are working a million times harder than me, but this is just exhausting and not sustainable for me. I have hardly had a chance to enjoy the album because in my mind I wonder if I am doing enough. I am in my early 30s and I feel more than a little silly feeling guilty that I am not stanning hard enough. Not to mention, I am just one fan that barely knows what she is doing so my efforts are probably laughable at best.
I just want to watch the MV because I love it and listen to the album because it is amazing without the pressure. I both look forward to and dread Act II as well as potential SHINee/other members comebacks.
Sorry for the rant. I am very much a novice when it comes to supporting an artist and a previously content lurker fan. I just want to know if anyone else is/has been in the same boat or has advice.
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2020.08.14 21:01 enforcingem Help i need to give my vacation to my boss this week.. i want off for next league.. i take 9 or 18 or 25 sept?

im in a dilema !
i want off for the release weekend of 3.12.. but i know ggg only give date 2 week prior to it...
i need to give my vacation advice this week.. should i yake the weekend of the 9,18 or the 25 of sept?
hope i dont get screwed lol..
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2020.07.31 20:54 polarisbearer Friend in a bad spot tried to break me and gf up, don't know how to proceed

Mobile, English as second language, don't want this posted anywhere else, usual disclaimers.
Tl;dr: Friend tried to break us up. Distanced ourselves, but happened again almost a year later. We think she had some good but misguided intentions, and don't know how to tell her how we feel.
Hi Reddit! So, I (19m) have been with my gf (19f) for around a year and a half. We met in High School and were friends for a while before dating.
One of the girls from our friend group was a really close friend to both of us, she's 19f and we considered her one of our best friends.
However, during the early days of our relationship, she would tell my gf to dump me for one of her exes because they were "a better match", while telling me that my gf wasn't that into me (spoiler alert: a year and a half later, she still is!) and that I should leave her and find "someone better for me". This lead to me and my gf to almost break up, untill we had a heart to heart, faced our communication issues, and we realized that our friend was seeding discord between us, so we cut her out of our relationship, and we are still going strong. It felt as if our friend had taken advantage of our communication issues and our trust in her to try to break us up.
One thing I should mention is that I'm affectionate with my closest friends. Stuff like hugging, resting my head on their shoulders and vice-versa, or crossing my arm around them when seating (be them male or female), but this friend took it to the extreme (always hugging me for a long time, trying to hold my hand, grabbing my arm while walking). I realized that what she did was excessive and it was making my gf uncomfortable. Afterwards, I myself felt uncomfortable and stopped being like that with her, and toned it down with everyone else.
All went smoothly for around a year, we stopped talking to her about us and distanced ourselves from her. Slowly, she was regaining our trust and our freindship was improving again, untill she started to talk bad about my girlfriend. For context, for college I moved about 2hrs away from my hometown, and my gf stayed. We are in a committed long-distance and we have (surprisingly, tbh) adapted to the situation. However, this friend started telling the rest of our friend group (when we weren't there) that my gf was only with me because of the sex and that she thought it was unfair how she treated me, which clearly isn't the case. Our friends pretty much shut her down then and there, and told us what she had said.
This ringed some distant bells and me and my gf shut her out completely again, because we were hurt from her comments. Things had started to be ok again, and then she says those things?
However, my dilema is that this friend has been through some pretty rough things. I won't give any details, as that is not my story to tell, but she's not well emotionally. I've talked to my gf and mutual friends, and we all agree that it's mostly possible that she had some good intentions at heart and that she didn't/doesn't realize how she made us feel (our mistake was that while we took action, we didn't explain to her what happened).
I believe that the friendship is still salvageable, and perhaps I'm a little too forgiving, but I believe that she didn't mean us bad. In my eyes, she's someone with emotional issues who didn't know how to properly express her concerns and thinks that she was doing the correct thing. I believe that we can be friends again, as long as she realizes why what she did and said was bad, that it hurts us, and that there will be boundaries she has to respect in order to continue our friendship.
My gf and I think that we should talk to her, but it's been 8 months and we don't know how to proceed. Plus, we prefer to do this in person to avoid misunderstandings, but the pandemic pretty much throws that idea overboard, and I feel that the longer it goes, the less chance there is of some sort of reconciliation.
We'd like some outside perspective and some advice. Should we try to hear her side of things? If so, how can we make sure she understands how she made us feel and our reasons for distancing ourselves, and how we want to fix things? Is videochat/phonecall an appropriate alternative to in-person talking?
Thanks for reading, and I'll be happy to answer questions and provide extra info I might have missed.
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2020.07.20 19:00 bananacamomila Adoption Contract

Hi, I'm new here. Recently a stray young female cat arrived at my house. She's relatively small and skinny but has a big round belly which I assumed at first was from parasites BUT it seems pretty clear now that she's heavily pregnant and close to her due date. I don't have a lot of money right now but was willing to take her to a vet to get her neutered but that was before realizing she might be pregnant so now I plan on keeping a close eye on her till she gives birth and the kittens are weaned so I can take her to the vet. I would like to give the kittens off for adoption but I really really want to make sure that the people adopting them are not only good owners, but able to take them to get neutered ASAP since I can't cover the costs of neutering several cats at once. I thought that by maybe creating a contract where the new owners accept all responsibility over taking good care of them and specifically neutering them I might be able to ensure that they do and if they don't do it after an amount of time then they would be obligated to return the kitten to me and that I search for another home. I thought maybe this was a bit too much but I really really want to make sure that they are taken well care of and that includes being neutered. I wanted to see what other people think, especially people who foster and work with strays. I take this very seriously since I study biology and conservation is very important to me. Where I live there are a lot of stray animals that suffer a lot and with cats specifically we have the dilema of them hunting native species, so population control is something that is necessary. As for the momma we plan on keeping her and taking good care of her. We have another cat who gets along with all cats and I'm sure they'll get along fine once she gets over her fear of him.
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2020.07.17 07:08 millsnour How am I going to ever meet someone?

Hi! I’ll try to make this brief.
I’m 21F. I’ve never been in a relationship or kissed anyone. I’ve had crushes and close relationships with guys, but none became romantic. I used to think boys didn’t like me because i was unattractive but as I’ve gotten older I no longer feel that way and i actually do feel that as a whole person, i am attractive .I consider myself to be sort of a demisexual; meaning I have to feel an emotional connection before pursuing anything physical with someone. But also, never had sex, so I’m only going off of what I know to be true in my head!
Anyways, I’m a college student. Not a lot of dudes at my college, and the boys I know are either gay or in a relationship. I’m very involved on campus and am a rising senior education major...sadly not a lot of dudes choose education as a future job:(
My dilema: i want to be in a good and loving relationship someday (like most people!) however, between quarantine, being super involved in college for 3 years and not having met anyone, and being really not into online dating at all (it’s really not my thing, I like literally have to see someone in person to be attracted to them), I’m starting to feel a little hopeless. I know “timelines” don’t matter but I don’t want to be 25+ and never have had any experience romantically or sexually.
But I KNOW beggars can’t be choosers...sometimes I just feel like wanting a loving and solid relationship is too much to ask these days? That happens organically? Anyways I digress.
My question: what do I do? Should I just hang back and chill until quarantine settles a bit (it’s REALLY bad in my state), and just remain open to love and dating? I really want to avoid meeting people on apps. I’ve tried and it made me anxious and it’s just not me. Maybe I’ll just hang tight and trust that the right people come into my life at the right times.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can meet people organically, even though I feel like I’m basically doing everything I can?
Thanks all and stay well.
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2020.07.07 03:58 ElJula My friend(22m) has a long distance relationship with his dreamgirl (21f) she ended up losing her virginity to another guy, what do I say to him

So before we start, Im going to call him Benny(22m) and her Im gonna call Ivy(23)
(Context) Benny and I met back in high school when we where both living Puerto Rico. Back then everything seem great for Benny and I was the idealistic rebel of the group cuz I was the one going throught shit yet he always valued my insight on thing sinse Ive always had a sort of pascalan-stoic-nihilistic sorta way of viewing things and we enjoyed talking and playing chess. We eventually went our separete way for my family had no way to keep paying for that school (it was a bisare kind of christian school).
So years passed, I went to Argentina (my father's homeland) where I am currently studying in Medical School and he went on to college, first in Puerto Rico but after the hurricane he started studying in florida. But in the course of all this he went throught some hard times, like his parents went throught a nasty divorse, his mother met a guy from Fl (through a dating app) and she moved there with him (she barely knew him and everybody agrees she wasnt in any need for money or moving to Fl, she just made a rash and terrible desition, of which it wasnt the last she was gonna make) and obviously that didnt last long. But Im gonna cut a bunch a Benny's tragic story cuz it would really be sad and long.
(The girl) Benny met Ivy while at college in PR and they had(have) both a very tragic story and a lot of repressed feelings on how theyre life went down, thing is that sort of anguish gave them common ground and they just clicked. She's a quiet girl, likes playing chess (win), she became an orphan (lost both parents and two grandparents, nasty), and its like both of them are horny as hell. But he eventually moved to FL and she stayed, they would still comunicate a lot had some falling in and outs, but they agree they each other even tho its a difficult enought situation.
(S**t hits the fan) Since Ivy lost almost all of her close senior family members (parents, grandparents) she lived with her aunt and apparently it wasnt good for her, so she went to live with her older sister, Benny, thought it was a good Idea and that It would be good for her so he encourages her. Nexting she's at her sisters (dramatic build up music starts playing) who plans a party to which Ivy is obviously invited.
Party comes along, Ivy and Benny being tge lovebirds that they are, Ivy calls John before the party starts and go on like that until at some point she is getting drunk (still with Benny on the line) and at one point the people at the party started pier pressuring her to go hang out with this guy. At sone point she or someone else hangs up. She drunkingly calls to ask if she wanted to watch "the event" through a video call and that was just to drunkenly incoherent and short (they horny people as the are would talk about threesomes and such), right there he was convinced he wasnt into it
Next day she calls again (dramatic climax music) she tells him she slept with the guy (someone she knew from her high school) and that she regretted it afterworths, the lovebirds became to fighting falcons
(The aftermath) They where at a constant state of argue, it would last all night. They seemed to eventually get to a truce, Benny would need to get her trust back cuz it just wouldnt be the same trust wise for him. He became very paranoid (and I wouldnt blame him) and so on, exibiting controlling behavior (which apparebtly turned her on...) yet she would do the same to him.
(I enter the scene) It was July in Argentina and being that Its way in the southern hemesphere its acctually winter in July, so Im warming up by the chimney in my university dorm when I get the call from Benny. At firt it was just the usuall catching up and then boom he tells me all of this (which happend months before). He aks "what would you do on the matter?" And he add "she lost ber virginty to that guy so when we talk about dirty things again its the back of my mind that that guys has been her first and only".
(My dilema) I know I dont give the typical answers people wanna hear, tho I do have a gf, even if she cheats on me I have this sort of pascalan thought that goes something like "humans are like a fragile reed, but a thinking reed" like if there one caracteristic of humans its that at some point they'll be weak, so when we are try not to mind it that much, sertainly try to overcome it but at some point it might give out. At least thats what I could conjure on the matter, and I've experienced jelousy before (Im human) and like my pscolist said to me "its just your unwillingness to let go" not as in break up but as in let thing take the path they have to take. I know its not an easy thought to handle, that maybe that person you love could have fellings (even if little) that you can not control, its not up to you what the other feels for someone else. Not saying that what you do wont matter to the other person. But I ended up telling Benny that he is being to controlling, to the point in which it was obvious to me he had to either let go of the past (cuz they obviously loved each other) or let go of her (find something knew) bit that he wouldnt take true decision unless he was capable of letting go cuz only then could he truly choose to stay or not. But that, like I said isbvery crude I feel.
In my mind I dont judge either of them, even if Benny is long time friend with a tragic past I know that Ivy has NOT had it easy as well, and Its not "was it wrong what she did?" It was wrong, but I just want some imput from you guys, Im young and probably naive so I would apreciate your thoughts on the matter.
Tl;DR My friend has his dreamgirl (everything he wanted) and after years of circumatancial hell he moved from PR to FL, he hasnt been able to visit her in a long time. She moves to her sisters who throws a party, the girls gets drunk and looses her virginty (damn) to some other guy she knew from highschool. They fought a lot and got to a truce. After which he became controlling and obsesive (which actually turned her on apparently) and she begins to act similarly. He ask me for advice but since Im sort off an odd ball I dont have a straight answer for him. More detail on my thoughts on the (my dilema) part.
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2020.06.22 22:43 -meb eDiscovery - Message ID and Archived Message

First of all, thanks for taking time with this post. I am not Exchange Admin but having access to backup messages etc.
Here is my dilema.
I have been backing up mailboxes just fine and it works perfect for the most part. I was tasked to provide access to messages from date XYZ (really old) like 2005.
So to start I initiated the eDiscovery Search and I can see the messages for the specific mailbox, but on the right hand side, where the content should be presented, I see an message that says "This message has been archived, please click here to view the message.". Click on that and a new window open up with Internet Explorer error.

So then I go back to the main window on the eDiscovery and there is an option that allow me to download the searched content to a PST. Trying that pops up another error: Application download did not succeed. Check your network connection, or contact your system administrator or network service provider.
Then as a last alternative, I reverted back to my backup software and found out that these messages were never backed up.
So now im struggling to understand that the archive (first error) really means from Exchange side? Why does the Download PST wont work? and lastly, if the eDiscovery shows the messages (from/to/subject - but not body content) are these messages really in exchange?
Thanks again
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2020.06.22 19:44 ryotan_momoko717 I met someone amazing but my best friend admitted to having feelings for me

This is gonna be a bit long but please humor me... Hi I’m male/31/gay. Like anyone who was raised in a Christian conservative Latino household, who also found themselves having homosexual thoughts, it was very difficult for me to come to terms with my sexuality. It still is, to this day, hard to look at my self on the mirror and see a gay me. But progress has been made and I feel more confident in what I am and who I am now more than ever. I started dating guys when I was 29. I went out with a guy who was 23 at the time, I’m very jovial and I seem to get along better with people younger than me in general. We clicked and began to date more. He was very open about his sexual life and felt comfortable telling me that he and his neighbor would hook up once in a while. Me, being a novice in the gay dating world and having a large amount of sexual hang ups, and not having much experience with sexual partners, didn’t feel very comfortable with dating someone who had such a “lose” view on sex. I was very verbal about how I felt. One day we had a big fight when he spontaneously canceled some plans we had made. He had mentioned that week prior to our plans that his neighbor was coming home from a trip. My mind, clouded by emotions and insecurities at the time, decided to fabricate a scenario where he had canceled our plans to meet up with his neighbor for sex. Some really ugly words were exchanged between us when I confronted him about what I thought his plans were. Little did I know that he had something personal come up that would empede our plans to happen. I was flustered and ashamed about what I had done. He then said to me “people like you are the reason why I don’t date!” I felt the weight of those words. I felt disgusting and rejected, and for the next few days I felt like shit, depressed and unwilling to move on or move forward. My feelings for him were real but I had blown my chance at winning his heart. A couple of days later he texted me and asked if I wanted to talk. I agreed, and through diplomacy we resolved to stay friends (well friends with benefits to be honest.) Two and half years have passed and we became best friends, though I still had feelings for him, I would suppress them in the name of keeping our friendship the way it was. We never spoke about giving the relationship game another go. He would hold my hand while driving or cuddle with me watching tv often, but I didn’t mind it and I never resolved to take it as a sign that he had feelings for me or something. I had made a promise to my self to never make a fool out of my self again over irrational thinking or rampant emotions. So this brings me to my current dilema. I recently met someone with whom I instantly clicked with, again. He is kind and bright and caring. A sober thinker and very mature for his age, he’s 25. We have genuine feelings for each other, and intimacy is absolutely amazing. Four days ago I decided to share with, my now best friend, that I had met someone and we wanted to have a serious relationship. At first his reaction seemed normal, he immediately asked “who is it?” But then he was taken a back and his facial expressions changed, his tone of voice was one of disappointment and grief. To my now growing confusion, he asked me to leave. I asked if everything was ok, but he insisted I should leave. So I did. The next day he asked me if we could talk, he then confessed to me that he had feelings for me and he was waiting for the right time to tell me. He told me that he couldn’t stay quiet about it as he knew I would grow closer to the new guy I had met. I was surprised at all this. The talk turned into tears from him, I felt his heart breaking as he told me how much he’d been hurting after he heard me say I was seeing someone. For the past few days he has been leaving me voicemails saying how sorry he is that he never said anything, that he’s trying to keep it together. He’s really hurting. I’ve been open about the situation with the guy I met, he has also been feeling confused about all of this and he has expressed that he doesn’t want to come in between me and my best friend, that I should pursue a relationship with him instead. I personally feel that it is unfair, that as soon as I open my mouth about having met someone else, he suddenly had feelings for me, I honestly don’t want to indulge my best friend’s actions. I want to pursue what I’ve found in this new guy, I also don’t want my best friend to hurt or push me away because he can’t stand to see me with another person. If you made it this far, you can see I’m very conflicted. I need advice and I want to resolve this with the outmost empathy. Please help!
submitted by ryotan_momoko717 to gayrelationshipadvice [link] [comments]


2020.06.22 12:16 ryotan_momoko717 I met someone amazing but my best friend admitted to having feelings for me

This is gonna be a bit long but please humor me... Hi I’m male/31/gay. Like anyone who was raised in a Christian conservative Latino household, who also found themselves having homosexual thoughts, it was very difficult for me to come to terms with my sexuality. It still is, to this day, hard to look at my self on the mirror and see a gay me. But progress has been made and I feel more confident in what I am and who I am now more than ever. I started dating guys when I was 29. I went out with a guy who was 23 at the time, I’m very jovial and I seem to get along better with people younger than me in general. We clicked and began to date more. He was very open about his sexual life and felt comfortable telling me that he and his neighbor would hook up once in a while. Me, being a novice in the gay dating world and having a large amount of sexual hang ups, and not having much experience with sexual partners, didn’t feel very comfortable with dating someone who had such a “lose” view on sex. I was very verbal about how I felt. One day we had a big fight when he spontaneously canceled some plans we had made. He had mentioned that week prior to our plans that his neighbor was coming home from a trip. My mind, clouded by emotions and insecurities at the time, decided to fabricate a scenario where he had canceled our plans to meet up with his neighbor for sex. Some really ugly words were exchanged between us when I confronted him about what I thought his plans were. Little did I know that he had something personal come up that would empede our plans to happen. I was flustered and ashamed about what I had done. He then said to me “people like you are the reason why I don’t date!” I felt the weight of those words. I felt disgusting and rejected, and for the next few days I felt like shit, depressed and unwilling to move on or move forward. My feelings for him were real but I had blown my chance at winning his heart. A couple of days later he texted me and asked if I wanted to talk. I agreed, and through diplomacy we resolved to stay friends (well friends with benefits to be honest.) Two and half years have passed and we became best friends, though I still had feelings for him, I would suppress them in the name of keeping our friendship the way it was. We never spoke about giving the relationship game another go. He would hold my hand while driving or cuddle with me watching tv often, but I didn’t mind it and I never resolved to take it as a sign that he had feelings for me or something. I had made a promise to my self to never make a fool out of my self again over irrational thinking or rampant emotions. So this brings me to my current dilema. I recently met someone with whom I instantly clicked with, again. He is kind and bright and caring. A sober thinker and very mature for his age, he’s 25. We have genuine feelings for each other, and intimacy is absolutely amazing. Four days ago I decided to share with, my now best friend, that I had met someone and we wanted to have a serious relationship. At first his reaction seemed normal, he immediately asked “who is it?” But then he was taken a back and his facial expressions changed, his tone of voice was one of disappointment and grief. To my now growing confusion, he asked me to leave. I asked if everything was ok, but he insisted I should leave. So I did. The next day he asked me if we could talk, he then confessed to me that he had feelings for me and he was waiting for the right time to tell me. He told me that he couldn’t stay quiet about it as he knew I would grow closer to the new guy I had met. I was surprised at all this. The talk turned into tears from him, I felt his heart breaking as he told me how much he’d been hurting after he heard me say I was seeing someone. For the past few days he has been leaving me voicemails saying how sorry he is that he never said anything, that he’s trying to keep it together. He’s really hurting. I’ve been open about the situation with the guy I met, he has also been feeling confused about all of this and he has expressed that he doesn’t want to come in between me and my best friend, that I should pursue a relationship with him instead. I personally feel that it is unfair, that as soon as I open my mouth about having met someone else, he suddenly had feelings for me, I honestly don’t want to indulge my best friend’s actions. I want to pursue what I’ve found in this new guy, I also don’t want my best friend to hurt or push me away because he can’t stand to see me with another person. If you made it this far, you can see I’m very conflicted. I need advice and I want to resolve this with the outmost empathy. Please help!
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2020.06.09 11:17 RunawaySoda Should I, (17F), date my friend, even though I’ve dated two of our mutual friends?

TL;DR at the bottom!
So, to start this off, I’ll do some explaining about out group dynamic. (And I’m also on mobile so sorry if the formatting is weird.)
I became a part of my current friend group (all live in TX) through a friend, who I’ll call Adam, that I had met a couple years earlier. Adam introduced me to his friends (that go to another school) in the middle of March to help me get through quarantine. We had all of our interactions on Discord for a while, until we just recently met in person. There, I met two guys out of the total 5, not including me. I’ll call them David and Sam. So in my freshman year of hs (I’m a senior now), me and Adam had dated for about two weeks. Later on at the end of last year, we had dated again for about a week. For me, it obviously wasn’t very serious, but Adam had told his friends when I joined. We had been friends for longer than we dated, so I was a lil shook that he had told them. They didn’t hold it against me at all since they knew it wasn’t serious either.
Soon after meeting Sam, I had begun to get a little bit of a crush on him. He was a bit socially awkward, and he had never had a girlfriend, or even his first kiss before (nothing wrong with that). Even so, there was something about him that was just so charming. He had had a way with words, I guess. After about a week or so of flirting back and forth, he had asked me to be his girlfriend. This came as a shock for me, because in all of my past relationships, I had talked to the other person for a couple weeks at least before we talked about an actual relationship. I had clarified this with Sam, but he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend, so I said yes. I had it in the back of my mind that it was a little fast, but I had said yes because I thought that if I said no, that the whole deal would be off the table. Me and Sam dated for about a month. In this time, we had met up (we were both quarantining, but I know I may still get hate), and we had some real chemistry. He wanted to have sex, and so did I, so we did. I was very afraid that it was too soon, but I wasn’t too worried because I was under the impression that we would date for a while. That wasn’t the case.
One day, Sam just called me up and broke up with my ass... and that caused a huge ripple in our friend group. So during this rather vanilla and amicable breakup, Sam’s friend Juan decided to spill about how much he hated me the whole time that me and Sam dated! He suggested that the whole group just kicks me out and ghosts me. Of course, David, Adam, and my other friend (who I’ll call Ron) said that it was fucked and that they would never do that to a friend (Now I wasn’t there for that conversation, but David and Ron had filled me in on what all happened, including the fact that Sam sided with Juan). This, of course, pissed me off, but I never brought it up because I knew that if Juan and Sam knew that I knew what they said, they would push it more, and be angry at the others for telling me. So I put the group before myself, especially because they had all known each other long before I came into it.
After all of this potential fallout, I realized that Sam wasn’t the guy that I thought he was, and that really made me sad. David, Ron, and Adam had “warned” me about his bad behavior, but I underestimated what they really meant by that.
So, here we are at the present. The friend group is a little awkward on Juan and Sam’s side, but David, Adam, Ron, and I hang out occasionally, and make plans for the next time we do often. Juan and Sam decide not to participate in these, but we do invite them.
Since David has been such a great person and friend to me, it was really difficult to not develop feelings for him. He is very kind and smart and what I look for in a guy. The problem is that I didn’t see that, because I had gotten to know Sam more in depth before everyone else (apart from Adam). I can’t help but wonder, what if I had not dated Sam? What if the group didn’t know about the intimate details of me and Sam’s time together? Would I have a chance with David? This was what I really wasn’t sure about. Tonight, though, it came out that I had a crush on David. I constantly wear my heart on my sleeve, and I make it a point not to be subtle with my flirting. This always backfires on me, though, when I try to tiptoe around a confession. He already had guessed that I did just due to how I was speaking, and he said he was gonna think on it.
The thing that’s different about David compared to Sam and even Adam, is that I have these butterflies that come when I talk to him. He’s a really kind guy and is actually willing to stick up for me in tough situations, and he has helped me so much with processing a big family issue I had recently. I’m not sure if it’s just because of hindsight, but something about David really feels good.
This is my dilema. I know there is a very good chance that he will realize that the negatives outweigh the positives here, especially with the way the group is now. In some ways, it’s pretty fragile*, so I’m not sure he’ll want to risk the friend group he’s been in for some girl. I’m trying not to get my hopes too high, but he did express interest in me after my confession. Is it worth perusing if he says yes?
My question is, even if he does feel the same, is it something that I should do?
the friend group has been fragile for a bit of time, even outside of and regardless of my situation with the members, though since I am a part of the group, I am involved in some of it outside of THIS particular situation
Thanks for reading, and I’ll answer any questions y’all have!
TL;DR, I have a crush on my friend! Should I pursue him, even though I’ve dated two of his friends already?
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2020.06.09 05:51 quantum-vagabond Newly engaged

My fiancé & I have been together for four & a half years before I bent the knee & asked her to be my wife. I am 24 and she is 22, 23 in SpoOctober. Before then, I have always told her that the man she is to marry should be that same man she has dated within the first four weeks. On my part, I pushed for consistency for the both of us. The only way is up, & we should continue to elevate each other until our twilight years. Mistakes have been made along the way, & now that we are engaged; we should be more zealous towards achieving our goals as a couple. She has a conservative family, you see. They believe in college first, good financial foundation, then stabilizing a family. Being in our early twenties, I too agree with this mentality. However, they do not believe that we should live together in this point in our lives. My own family tells me not to prolong the engagement & to marry within the year rather than wait the two & a half years that my fiancé & I have agreed upon. I told my half that we intend to proceed as her & I see fit & they just have to deal with our decision. My fiancé however wants to appease her half of the family. I tell her that the decisions that she makes needs to be in line with that of her own & our matrimony to be. This is the time for us to lay the foundation & build as the married couple we shall one day become. Am I wrong for this idea? I too want to keep the peace & have our families in line with our decisions, but their opinions should not infringe on our personal beliefs to the point where her & I cannot achieve what we both want. We love each other very much & make an effort to be on the same page at least 90% of the time. I want her to have her way & have her opinion valued. Our latest trial is having her move in with me, or for I to move in with her. We live 40mi apart to be joined by the highway. She goes to the college two minutes from my house, & the place she wants to work/intern from is 30min from my house. I told her that she can move in with me since it will not infringe on our plans. She agrees but her family does not. Am I wrong for telling her that she needs to make things on her terms? Is there another solution to our dilema? Her family approves of our engagement & wants us to be stable before our matrimony, & we are currently on a good path; given the current state of the world & it’s economy. Should I “lighten up” or is this the mentality we both should share in building the foundation of our marriage? Also, I have chosen not to include a “Tl;Dr” because I want a genuine response from someone who’s interested in my inquiry.
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2020.05.31 09:17 nardog781 My (ex) GF (F22) and I (M21) are in an unhealthy cycle and I have no idea what to do anymore.

My (ex) GF (F22) and I (M21) are in and unhealthy cycle and I have no idea what to do anymore. Me and my gf were high school sweet hearts dated for almost all of HS and college. This last October she broke up with me, due to us having very busy lives as well as other factors. It was mutual, but more so on my side in respect. I was more focused on working and propelling myself in college and wasn’t much of a partier. But she more so liked to party, but not excessively. Anyways we just had different lives and I understood how she felt.
We have not been together as a couple since October of 2019, the dilema I am facing is that I am still madly in love with her. Noted I respect the boundaries and do not over step them. I feel bad because she is mostly forced to do everything herself in her house hold. She does everything for everyone in her household. And during our relationship I was always there for whatever she may have need help with or needed support. After we broke up, she still wanted to be best friends. Me being heartbroken and hoping that we maybe would reconnect was okay with it. So we have been best friends and would occasionally flirt. But it was never anything more than that. But now although we are not together she still constantly relies on me for support as well as if she needed help with anything. I do love her and I do want the best, but at this point all I am doing is hurting myself. I love her so much but I just don’t know how to handle this anymore. She started to completely ignore me recently for a few hours and then sometimes a few days, but she’ll always message me acting like things are normal. I understand we are not together. I’m just so lost She is not good with confrontation and will instantly put her defense up. I really just want the best for both of us.
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2020.05.21 10:05 niuz-bot Găurile date de coronavirus în “drumurile chinezești ale mătăsii” / Tot mai multe țări raportează dificultăți la rambursarea împrumuturilor luate pentru vastele proiecte de investiții în infrastructură ale Beijingului - [Analize]

Să-ți salvezi economia afectată de coronavirus sau să dai banii înapoi Chinei? Aceasta este dilema tot mai multor țări care se alăturaseră noilor “drumuri ale… Mai departe »
Citeste in continuare: https://www.g4media.ro/gaurile-date-de-coronavirus-in-drumurile-chinezesti-ale-matasii-tot-mai-multe-tari-raporteaza-dificultati-la-rambursarea-imprumuturilor-luate-pentru-vastele-proiecte-de-investitii.html
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2020.05.19 06:15 Bullydater Is it ok to date my bully?

Hello all, my name is anna. I'm 24 years old and I'm kind of in a dilema. I asked the exact same question cause im kinda tired to re-type the question. I posted in bullying because it is relevant.
For context, im a 5'6 kinda skinny girl. My current boyfriend bullied me extremely hard during highschool, which had some dark results. I tried taking my own life at age 16, when he spotted me trying to fall off a balcony which was right in the middle of the school, and trying to jump off. He ran and jumped towards me to save me, and ive been extremely thankful ever since. He broke down in front of me about how much he loved me and how he would take his own life if I happened to have died. Eventually, it turned from him comforting me to me comforting him. He apologized profusely, doing extreme things to prove how sorry he was. He would wait outside in the rain waiting for me to leave the building for him to take me home, sometimes get into fights over me, and what im most grateful for, him supporting me. He literally spend most of his day trying to make my life as perfect as possible, and he turned from a douchebag to the most perfect gentleman. He would put me ahead of everything, even when we were not even dating. I meant everything for him, at least that's what he told me. He is legitimately the perfect boyfriend and we recently got engaged! But recently i've been getting emotional and wondering if I was in the wrong. 'Was this stockholm syndrome? Is he manipulating me?' I am simply seeking confirmation, am i in the right or am I just exaggerating?
Thanks for reading y'all.
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2020.05.18 04:33 eat-sushi Selfish girlfriend or over reacting?

This is my first post to reddit so forgive me.
I’m in a relationship with my girlfriend and I am faced with a dilema. A little background. We are high school “sweethearts”(and I used quotes because I don’t know how to feel right now), been together for the last 2 years, out of high school for the last 2 years now, almost 3. Her and I had dated on and off back and forth a few times before the long haul but I’m not sure if that’s important, but I’ll include it. She also has commitment issues from her family and needed a boyfriend all the time. So anyway. We have always been intimate. Always. Amid corona she moved in with me because of family complications, her mom has compromised immunity, and can’t risk her getting it while she is still going to work, so she is here with me. The issue I’m having is that our love feels like it’s running out. And I don’t want to sound like a sad chap, but it hurts. We practically have knife fight arguments on the daily, and my real issue is that our intimacy is almost GONE. Most days there is nothing. On the off hand there’s something, it’s her, using the vibrator, getting off, and me kissing her, making her aroused etc. Talking about the sex, normal pregame shit. The issue is after she finishes, it’s over and she’s too tired. That or “ I literally don’t know why you are mad at me”. And I don’t get blue balls so don’t worry I’m fine I’m that aspect. I just pray there’s a silver lining or a light at the end of the tunnel.
What’s your input?
Thanks.
TL:DR Boyfriend cannot figure if he is being used or not
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2020.05.04 11:07 hello-my-old-heart He broke up with me, but lately we’ve been talking and it seems we miss each other to much. We’re not going back because that’s what we’ve been taught.

I dated my ex for almost two years, he is my first boyfriend and I really do love him. We were very close and had pretty much all our firsts together, we do the same sport we were always very comfortable with each other. I miss him a lot too, he is in a dilema where he likes this other girl but he still loves me so he doesn’t know what to do. He has asked for my help but I try to not get to involved as I am biased and it wouldn’t be fair to them if I twisted their relationship. If anyone is even reading this then I really want to know, should I be honest and tell him I would be willing to try again?
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